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Better to Give or Receive?
Dr. Dee Soder

Exemplary leaders are often at a loss when it comes to gifts; indeed, executive assistants often come to the rescue. None of them would talk, but happily some “executive Santas” provided some tips. One piece of advice that everyone agreed on was to “learn the organizations’ gift-giving norms first”!

The Trickle-Down Theory

“Gifts are a total minefield. My personal philosophy is the ‘trickle-down theory’. Bosses give gifts to subordinates, but the subordinate doesn’t owe him/her a gift in exchange. Plus it could look like you were trying to score points with the boss…. I have worked places where it was standard to give the boss a gift. If you are new or not sure what the gifting norms are at work, ask a friendly co-worker. Books are always appreciated and strike a nice tone. Plus avoid potential problems like giving candy to someone who is trying to lose weight or a present that’s too personal. Whatever you receive, be appreciative. Plus be sure to follow with a nice thank-you note for any presents you receive!”

Cathy Cavender, Editor-In-Chief, Diversion Magazine (Life-Style Magazine for Physicians) and a highly regarded editor of other publications, including Rosie, Lifetime, McCall’s, Redbook and Mademoiselle.

Gifting Clients

Never look at gifts with excessive value (i.e. greater than $100). Most organizations now have a value limit on gift giving and receiving: $25 - $50.
If a co-worker or client gives you a gift, you are not obligated to do the same; it sets a bad precedent, especially if the gift comes from a senior level individual.
Always check with a client’s rules of governance regarding gifts and value. Alcohol isn’t typically a suitable gift.
You can give a small gift of appreciation to a client’s assistant, but mention to your client in advance.
Learn your client’s interests/hobbies and consider gifts in these areas: i.e. personal heritage, business books, automobiles, sports, etc.

Frank Parrotto, Managing Director, MATRIX ADVISORS LLC, a strategic consulting group for Asian and North American manufacturers in consumer electronics and durable goods. Frank has decades of senior executive and consulting experience at such prominent companies as Black & Decker, Unilever/Best Foods, KPMG, Best Buy and Wal-Mart.

The Gift Dilema

As if it's not a big enough challenge to find a gift for that difficult-to-buy-for brother, grandmother or aunt. What's even worse is the pressure many of you are feeling about the rights/wrongs of gifting at the office.

Let me say up front. My hat's off to all companies who have solved this problem with Secret Santa events (with limits like $25). Better yet, hurrah for companies with a belief that holiday gifts should come in the form of year-end bonuses!!!

Here goes with my base principles in solving the business gift dilemma:

Think about gifting all year long. Before you start moaning, let me tell you this one idea alone can take the pressure off. Maybe one of your colleagues had a baby during the year. Or what about congratulating a colleague on a big business promotion? All these events throughout the year may be more important to remember than the year-end holidays. So it's OK to skip someone at the holiday if you did the right stuff all year long. And it's much easier on your budget too.

Spending less is more. Gifting is all about being thoughtful -- and you'll never be memorable by the money you spend on holiday gifts. This rule is especially true about the boss. And don't think that just because you spent more you'll have any more confidence that you really did the right thing.

Take time to decide who's on your gift-giving list. That's right. Sit at your desk for a few minutes and really think who should be on that list. And it's not everyone you could possibly thank. Of course, don't forget about receptionists, mailroom and other great folks who help behind the scenes all year long.

Now the hardest part of all. For everyone on your list, think of something that is important to them. Since it's the thoughtfulness of gifting that really matters, this is where you have to use your brains. Shortcuts may make you feel like you've completed your to-do list, but the results will fall far short - and you'll probably overspend. Think about the person's hobbies, his/her favorite subject, favorite charity, ways to relax, sense of beauty. Now translate that idea into a simple gift. For example, let's say the person loves gardening. Why not get them packages of herb seeds that they can plant inside during the winter or outside in the spring. Or let's say they are dedicated to breast cancer research. Why not make a donation to their favorite charity. Or let's say all they do is talk about their kids. Why not get them something for their child -- or better yet, a picture frame suitable for the child's photo. And for the "group" gifts, there's nothing better than a big can of caramel corn or home made cookies to share.

Make the most of shopping via the Internet from catalogs and home shopping channels. Once you've gotten yourself focused in Step #4, you can stealthily focus on purchasing the best gift. And there are some real bargains out there if you just look. And I find the assortment so much more creative via the Internet/TV than when I feel the crush of the crowds at the local mall. You'll also get some great ideas that you might not have previously thought of around some hot-trends. Like who would have guessed that there would be so many poker-related gifts this year. Or even the comeback of board games. Many of these would be perfect for colleagues with those interests.

Never ever expect anything in return. Just like gift giving should not be a contest, it should not be a scorecard. Maybe others are like you and haven't been sure what to do. Or maybe they need all their money for the gifts at home. Or maybe they're still coming to terms with the recent death of a parent. Just smile and enjoy the overall feeling of giving and happiness.

Eileen Bedell has been a senior executive and partner in corporations and consulting firms, including Accenture, Booz Allen Hamilton, Bankers Trust, for over 30 years. She is a graduate of Purdue University, lives in New York and runs her own private ventures.